When a happy girl cries...

I'm not a depressed person, not at all. But I have these times where I just can't stand that people goes against me on things. Right now I have some hours like that. I don't know when it started. It just did. I don't cry (sorry for lying in the topic..), but that's because I don't cry anymore. Which is pretty frustrating, actually. Earlier (before summer 2010) I could cry over the tiniest little things. Like for example, once I watched Ice Age, the first one, I actually started to cry in the end, when the mammoths walked away from Sid and Manny. And you know the movie "Click" with Adam Sandler? I've never cried so much of a movie that I've cried over that one. Even Schindler's List didn't get so much sympathy from me that Adam Sandler did in Click. And the worst thing is that I watched it several times, and cried as much as the first time everytime I watched it. So you probably understand by now that I was a supersensitive girl back then. But I've changed, and have become this girl who doesn't cry whether she like it or not. And honestly, I don't like it at all. It probably sounds like heaven to not start crying over the tiniest little things, and I'll admit that yes, it is kind of good to not start drying my tears everytime I see a movie with a little piece of love in it. But seriously. A little bit of tears could my body bought to me. I haven't lost a tear since May 14th, when my school ended and I was moving home. Well, that day I cried so much that I got some kind of migraine headache, and had to go to bed to stop crying. But that's a long time ago. It's 4 months since I last lost a tear from my eye. I haven't had any reasons for crying lately though, cause I'm actually very happy compared to what I have been before. I almost can't find any reasons why I shouldn't be happy. The only thing I miss in my life is actually someone to love, which I have the expression of that I'm not the only one who does. I've got a great family, super friends, a fantastic job which I love. A mother in the kindergarden came to me today and said that her son talks a lot about me at home, and that he wanted to take a toy to the kindergarden for me, so that I could play with him. And also, one of the other boys in the kindergarden, who doesn't speak Norwegian, and we don't speak his language (which is italian\icelandic), have got very attached to me, which is supergreat.

But why the heck am I getting so depressed some days? My mood has been excellent today, except from this fucking thing. I may have PMS, cause my PMS-system is a little bit weird, actually. First I have my period, and THEN my PMS comes. Isn't it supposed to be the opposite? first the PMS, and then the period? I'm thinking that's the most logical since PMS is short for PRE-menstrual tension. But whatever.

I got this feeling that I had 1\2 year ago. The feeling of that everyone is against me, that everyone claimed me for everything that I wasn't responsible for, and this made me very angry and depressed (not now, but half a year ago). I got the same vibes now, someone claimed me for something superstupid, which was not anything to get made for at all, but I was like RAAAAAAAAAAAGE. Sometimes I'm just super advanced. I don't understand my own head. It's to complicated for me. And guys says that they think that girls are complicated; I can understand them. Sometimes. When it comes to the toilet seat discussion, I'm on the man-side. I don't really care if the toilet seat are up or lied down, as long as it's not glued together. Like seriously, what the fuck is the problem with girls who gets pissed by that? Do they have a problem with lifting a toilet seat that have a weight under 1kg 30cm down, or do they just want to control the guys? When girls says that guys are stupid to not understand them, I just can't help myself thinking that these girls are freaks or psychos or something like that. Why the hell does guys have to take the toilet seat down , when we girls don't take the toilet seat up?

Well... I just had to complain a little bit in English, even though it doesen't help for my mood. I think. Maybe it does. I hope it does. Well, now I'm gonna do some stuff for work, while listening to TRON Soundtracks.... which is amazing. Everyone should see that movie, TRON Legacy, and listened to the soundtrack... I'm seriously getting goosebumps by them. Looove!

Sorry for a superdepressing blogpost.

May happend to do something with my mood: This beautiful horse, which is my dream horse, is going to be sold.... and I love her. And I miss her, cause I haven't seen her often lately, cause I've moved to the city... and she's where my parents live. And I'm going to miss her even more, when she's another place.....(picture taken by Irmelim, last sunday)